The relationship between a PhD student and their supervisor(s) often exists in a delicate balance… the fundamentals of this relationship are illustrated beautifully in the PhD comics, especially this one -http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=1439
But how do you deal with conflict? Do you keep quiet and agree with everything your supervisor says and suggests? When you disagree, as a student, how do you get your point of view across without completely sabotaging your relationship? Is a harmonious relationship necessary? Or does conflict breed better work?
I asked people who have been dealing with this kind of situation if they had any tips to share…
“I think the first rule is having the confidence to stand up for your self, and the second is knowing when to pick your battles. There is no point breaking out into war over little things, but you have to put your foot down sometimes, otherwise you will lose complete control of your project.
There are times when my supervisor (Prof A) asks, “why have you done that?” And I want to reply with “because you told me too”, knowing fine well Prof A has simply forgotten that she told me to do something. I shrug and keep quiet, for a quiet life.
When Prof A tries to take control (when I write anything) I let them make the changes and I then work through each one, and I decide if I like it or not. Then do my best to put it into my words. I have had to stand up for myself, explain that the project is mine and argue for my point of view.
An important point, always question why your supervisor wants to do something, don’t just blindly obey. Knowing the end point they want to reach, allows you to choose how to find the answer. 9 times out of 10 the student will know a quicker/better way(s) to get to that answer (or will already have it!).”
Have you ever had to deal with a conflict? Do you and your supervisor argue on a daily basis? Or are you the best of friends?
I would hazard a guess that people with good supervisors could easily stand up for themselves and would, but rarely need to, while those who feel they can’t stand up to them are the ones who need to most. I think this, because the good supervisors nurture their PhD student into doing this naturally without thinking about it, whereas a bad supervisor just tries to maintain importance and dominance. Luckilly I have a great supverisor!
At the University of Leeds, my department has a two way approach to coping with the issue. Firstly every PhD student has a Research Support Group comprising supervisors and one independant member of staff. The independant member chairs this panel and mainly acts as a steady hand on the tiller, their role is to have the interests of project and student first, supervisor second.
Secondly the department has a Postgraduate Reseach Tutor, who is always available for private discussion of any problem for a PhD student. There is also a deputy for times when the PGRT is away or when he has a conflict of interests (ie is a supervisor/RSG chair for a student).
The system is designed to provide the top level support, but ultimately in my experience the main support for a PhD student comes from their PhD colleagues, as well all together muddle each other through the hard days and keep us all going. I have developed in 2 years some tremendous friendships because we exist in such a unique and high pressure environment. All the top level support in the world wouldn’t be worth a penny if it wasn’t for the simple role of friendship!