- Lie – the bigger the lies you put on your CV then the better the job you will get
- List all the one-day training courses you have ever been on
- Include a photo – the more attractive you make yourself look, the better your chances
- Use elaborate fonts and colours so your CV stands out
- Divulge sensitive information – make sure that you put your NI and passport number on the front page
- Change your CV for every position you are applying for
- The more gimmicky you make your CV using different shapes and pictures the more improved your chances will be
- Make sure that you list as many referees as possible, especially if you know the Prime Minister
- Always start each sentence in the first person, i.e. I, Me and My
- Try and use as many clichéd terms as possible, I am a highly motivated individual who works well on my own or in a team, with exceptional communication skills and the ability to work under pressure to produce results under tight deadlines.
For advice on the best way to write your CV read here
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